After Oliver was born I thought for quite a while that I’d rather not go into labour again. Even that I liked to have another baby one day but if I could go without being in labour I would sign for that.
The last year Andy and I have been talking about when to try for another baby. I was always very enthusiastic about those conversations as I’d rather have a second baby sooner than later but I had always back in my mind the thought of the delivery and that really didn’t appeal to me.
But then there it was I had this strong feeling the other day that I thought yes I’m ready to be in labour again. I want to fight that horrible pain again and feel like a super woman being able to give birth to a tiny person.
I’m not very proud of my last delivery as I have been only in pain for 30 minutes and I have been screaming for an epidural and didn’t breath trough the contractions what so ever. Yes, I’m very disappointed in myself.
When I was pregnant I was so ready for my delivery I thought the whole time I’m ready for this and I can do this and I was also very curious how it would be. How the contractions would feel as I have been wondering about it as long as I can remember and now it was finally my time to beat those contractions.
Now I actually feel the same as when I was pregnant. Again I think I’m ready for this and I can do this even that I know what a horrible pain it is but because I disappointed myself last time I want to prove myself that I can beat the pain and breath trough them and stay more calm. I know I’m talking way too easy about this as I probably will end up screaming for an epidural straight away anyway.
To get myself a bit more prepared (what can prepare you more than already experienced it before) next time I will sign up for a hypnobirthing course or something that I actually know the techniques to breath trough the contractions.
But people to make it clear saying that I’m ready to be in labour and give birth again does not mean I’m ready to be pregnant again. Yes, I did say before I’d rather have a brother or sister for Oliver sooner than later but I sill like to wait a little bit longer.
When we’re ready then? I don’t have a clue. The time will tell us when we’re ready to try for a second baby.