It has been the most wonderful year so far but also a year with many ups an downs.
I kept on saying how easy I found it to have a baby. Honestly I didn’t found it that hard as everyone was telling me it would be. But I have to say there have been moments I did found hard in the first year of motherhood.
Looking after a baby, getting up in the middle of the night, giving up things in your life (every weekend going out clubbing, etc) I didn’t found hard at all. I enjoy it so much to care and love for a little human being.
The thing I struggles with was the insecurity I had lots of times. It started already very early with breastfeeding, I was the whole time worried that he wouldn’t get enough milk and that he would be underfed. That made me very restless and I wasn’t calm enough.
Not only with breastfeeding I wasn’t calm, I had it with many different things. I was constantly thinking if I was doing everything good enough was insecure when people made comments. It made me stressed and restless.
Now I look back at the past year I wished I would have done many things differently and relax a bit more. As I did do and still do a good job looking after Oliver, I’m also sure if I was more relaxed I would have managed to breastfed Oliver for longer.
Even that I regret those things, there is no point to keep on thinking about it. It has been all knew to us and it still is a big learning thing to look after a human being. We do the best we can and we have a healthy happy little boy.
The things I wished I had done differently I keep in mind for when we are blessed to welcome another baby, I hope I will be a more relaxed and calm (but I probably wont as I have then a toddler running around).
All together I look back at a beautiful year. I have never been so happy. It’s just great to give all your love to a little human being and get so much love back.
Everyday you get back more, from a little baby what can’t do anything to a little boy what smiles at you, gives you kisses and calls you mama. He makes me laugh every single day.
Being a mom has been the biggest dream for me. I have never been a career person, I can remember me being at school thinking about having children, making lists with names for my future children instead of paying attention during my lessons.
This is my ‘dream job’. I’m glad with how everything turned out and that my biggest dream did came true, being a proud mom of Oliver Ronnie.
I’m looking forward to all the years that still have to come with our beautiful son.